Day 26- you can't quit this damnable thing

Some days I want to quit. I want to just ignore everything and stop testing, bolusing, and caring.
I cant do that, because if I do, I will suffer and eventually or quickly die.
I prefer living, so even when I am dragging myself along through the day, I care for my health.

In college, I studied, I worked part time, and I read. I did not care for myself. I'd go days without injecting (I was on shots in the beginning of college) fast acting insulin and barely remember to dose the 24 hour stuff.

After many hospitalizations, I went to the pump and still didn't test but at least I was getting insulin on a regular basis.
It took having a husband and children who depend on me to really get through to me. These days, I test my bloodsugar as needed, I mostly remember to bolus for all the food I eat, though some days I forget I have T1D. I will sit down a the table, say Grace, dish up the food, cut the meats for the kids, and begin eating. Usually after a bite or two, it hits me. Dumbass, insulin! So I grab my PDM and bolus. There are better days where I keep my T1D in mind and pre-bolus. Each day is different, each blood glucose reading tells me where I am at, and still I keep going.
I can't quit my self-care. I don't want to die from this damn disease.