For the first time in FOREVER!

My numbers have been great!
I decided that keeping track of my carbs wasn't enough. I dedicated my energies to counting calories and carbs today. I tested before eating EVERYTHING! It worked!
I managed to keep my numbers normal all day until just a few minutes ago when it spiked to 205. I didn't weigh the exact amount of rice cakes, and was off on my estimation and my blood went high. Lesson learned.
Tomorrow is a new day and another chance to make it better.
Back to today. I am below 1800 calories. That is my goal. It's a number I saw on my hospital caloric restrictions when I was admitted as a teen. They automatically lumped me in with the Type 2s and restricted my intake. That is another story for another day.
Well, their magical number was 1800, so that was my goal today.
Since the new year began I've put on 8 pounds. This is a common and known side effect of proper insulin usage. It causes weight gain. My blood glucose being in a healthy range means my body is utilizing the food I eat, rather than my body burning through its fat stores.  The result being my body is able to hold onto and rebuild those fat stores. This also means I need to watch what sorts of fats I eat and reduce the amount of empty calories. No more binge snacking on cheese. That's out. Healthy diabetes friendly food. Clean eating is my goal for now. I do not have the answers, I am going with my gut here.
Healthy life means hard work in application and not just theoretical knowledge. I have to put forth the effort, I need to keep track of everything, I have to test my blood, and I need to record it all in a logbook. It means that when I feel like I am going low, I need to STOP what I'm doing and treat it then and there, not wait until I'm loopy can't verbalize my needs. It means that when I eat, I must eat it all and not share a bite with my kids.
I have had three eye surgeries int he last two years because of my own denial and laziness. I do not want to have any more body parts removed. My own lenses were ENOUGH. I do not wish to part with and fingers, toes, or extremities, not organs nor my life. I'm 31 and have the complications beginning that I was warned about over half my life ago.
I'm done rambling for now. Aside from one bad reading, today was a raging success to me.

Ridiculous commercials

I hate those clementine orange commercials and use them as example of what not to do in a store. My kids saw the one where the kid was screaming at his dad but only stopped in front of those oranges. I let them know that was very baa behavior and if they EVER tried it, we would leave the store, and they were getting nothing fun. I may take the commercial too seriously but I am not going to be manipulated by a tantrum.
Mama don't play that way,
Heck, every commercial for those oranges irritates me and I refuse to buy that brand.
Most other commercials that play on "kid friendly" stations get under my skin. If it is geared toward a kid, I don't like it. The ONE time my parents let me choose a toy based on a commercial, it was a great disappointment, The toy actually sucked and was nowhere near as fun as the advertising. Since the tender age of 8, I have detested the lies of those advertisements.
As a mom, I avoid my kids seeing them to avoid the "Mommy I want ____!" moments. It works unless we are not home and the only option (if we let them watch tv) is to view a station where those commercials are unavoidable. It's rare but happens.
I'm blessed to have the luxury of subscribing to a satellite service package where we get Disney Jr and BabyFirst TV. Thankfully there are VERY few adverts on Disney Jr and none that I've ever noticed on BabyFirst. When we finally dump subscription tv service, then adverts are no longer an issue, so yay! I'm looking forward to that.

Aside from annoying kid-centric commercials, I cannot tolerate 99% of those on every other station. Hillshire Farms "go meat" jingle is one I like even though I don't buy their products.

I have an inverse reaction to advertising. Even if the ad is meant to be annoying so it's remembered, I specifically avoid mentioning a product by it's name and simply purchase the competitor's product.

Thanks to some creepy or annoying Superbowl ads, there are at least three brands I will avoid until I can look at an item without mentally crying from the sheer torment by poor brain suffered through.


I can not be the only one who reacts this strongly to commercials, right?

Another failed morning.

Take 1-
Around 11am.
 Trying to type for the second time, but just for a minute. Blood-sugar was 105 this am. Berry won't stop interrupting my thoughts so whatever I was going to type is gone. Need to go give the girls a shower as Bear (she needs a new nickname I think) so I'm off for now, will continue later.

Take 2-
It's now just before 5pm.
This day has been rough. I heartily dislike interactive voice recognition software. When a digital program cannot distinguish between two similar sounding letters, it is maddening
Baby Bear was showered and then promptly spilled food on her pants. Kids, haha.
I haven't done a proper session of yoga exercises in days, but I did get an insurance issue dealt with fairly quickly. I dislike calling insurance companies but I love to deal with the staff at my endo's office.
Off from here to attempt to create a home network to transfer photos.

Ponderings

Today has been an amazingly quiet day- we stayed home and hung out together. I'm feeling more confident and scared and hesitant and excited to begin my education in the nursing field.
 Khan academy has been a Godsend for getting my toes wet in the anatomy and physiology field but is so not on the same level as actually taking a course with a professor. There's an issue with my taking the online courses, and that issue is time with my children. I can closet myself away in my bedroom and try to watch the videos, but as soon as I press play, it never fails that one or both girls wants or needs my attention. It got so bad that I stopped doing the courses. This highlights my personal need to continue my education in a more structured environment.

I'm still super excited for this next phase of my life. My dream is to go to classes, do my assignments and studying while on campus and after the girls are in bed. After I get the girls from school, the idea is to get Berry's homework done when needed, work on Baby Bear's lessons for the day, and play. Dinner gets cooked, eaten, and cleaned up. Post dinner will be bath, books, brushing, and bed.
That is the plan. The reality will doubtlessly be much less smoothly running.

It still blows my mind that my Baby Bear is going to be in preschool this fall and my firstborn is starting kindergarten. My five year goal is to have my loans paid off, and money in savings to pay for school related expenses for the girls. This is terrifying and exciting. 

I cannot possibly be the only married mom who has an unused bachelor's degree. I'm also certain it's not unique that I have a degree because I felt expected to attend college after high school, even though I was aimless and had no clue what I wanted in life, and by the time I was feeling even an inkling towards a career goal, felt trapped in my degree path.

No more! No more negative nancy for a boyfriend who degraded my ideas for careers, no more listening to the negativity and self doubts. I KNOW I am intelligent enough to retain information, that I am strong enough to balance a family and an education and my health. I can do this. I have the support of my family, and I am doing this.