Sometimes I just am not.
Things get to me.
The sound of people eating, utensils clanging or scraping a dish while someone eats, incessant chatter, tv commercials, loud volumes on radio and tv, the way the wind sounds when only the back windows are open on a car traveling faster than 25mph, the wind in my ears when all the windows are open in a fast vehicle, the drone of electronics-that hum they all seem to have, the sound of the road grader, the beep of the garbage truck, static on AM stations, and those are just the sounds that get to me.
I cannot handle the feel of paper products, Styrofoam containers or dishes, microfiber cloths when my skin is the least bit dry, how dry my hands feel after washing them, how yucky they feel if I get too much lotion that doesn't absorb quickly, when dirt or sand gets under my fingernails, walking on crumbs, and wet spots on my socks.
Visually, bright lights seem to bother me the most. Since my cataracts were removed, it's better but I still prefer not to drive at night. I don't watch music videos or kids cartoons if there is bright flashes of light.
My taste issue is much milder. I will not and can not tolerate peppery foods. I love flavorful spices, just no pepper. Cayenne, tobasco, or anything of the like. I can enjoy small bits of black pepper but that is it. I have a strong sweet tooth for candy, but hate sweet drinks. I only use the yellow packets of sweetener only-the blue packets upset my stomach and the pink packets give me vicious migraines. I love to drink tisanes (herbal teas) with a hint of sweetener to them. If I drink soda, it is always diet, but those have been cut out because I am becoming more sensitive to caffeine as I get older. I try to avoid tomato based foods due to gastrointestinal protests.
Lastly, I can never seem to properly regulate my own temperature. I am always colder that my peers or overheated easily. My best investment for clothing was wool socks. I love them so very much!
Crowds and loud places make me very prickly. If my personal space is invaded without invitation, it make me twitch. I get sweaty and shaky like I'm having a severe low when I am the center of attention in a group of people who are not my family and close friends.
I'm feeling overly paranoid that I am suffering from some sort of sensory overload. That maybe my hypothyroidism or diabetes is making me feel so oversensitive to all these things. I feel like an unfair bitch when I can't handle a store when others are shopping.
EVERY one of these triggers manifests as irritation or anger.
I feel utterly alone in how the little things bother me to such an extreme degree.
How the HELL am I supposed to go back to school in a few months?
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