Fear.

I have a lot of fear. Fear of going low while alone, driving, or doing an activity. Fear of trying out a new activity and having a great time then having to stop so I can deal with a low, with a call from someone or with my kids. I have been scared to go back to school because of something happening. I have been scared to get a full time job, even in retail, due to having no one I can count on for consistent childcare. I have no income to pay someone. This is a lot of anxiety, so I deal with it by doing nothing. I have great friends and family that will watch the girls for a doctor's appointment of for me to go out and do a quick errand or two. I don't discount these people as they've made life so much easier to live with their help. I just cannot and will not rely on them because they have their own lives to live.

I yearn to go hiking or walking or biking with my kids or friends or even by myself. I long for the chance to run. I have zero endurance. I tied couch to 5k last year but failed because we had to move my treadmill out the house and I lost my motivation to run in a an non-insulated detached garage. I lost the smidge of progress I had made very quickly.

How and where do I begin? I've got this friend who is a great cyclist. She's kind, funny, outgoing, healthy, athletic, and a great mom. She and her husband ride on a cycling team. I'm shy and have a hard time making friends to begin with much less trying to learn where to join a team doing any athletic activity.
I just don't know where to look or how to begin.