My mental obsession is now hiking. I have only done short day walks, not even hikes, with my husband and daughters. The few things I have found online from the POV of female backpackers living with T1D makes me even more determined to do this as a family.
I so very badly wish to not have to google the medical needs part of hiking. Having to learn that I need to be wary and see how hiking, backpacking, and being that active affect my glucose levels is a pain. I can't just research the items I need to carry, how to build up to the activity with training walks and exercises to improve my stamina. I also have to look into how to adjust my pump settings, which foods may or may not work to sustain a healthy level, ways to keep my pump and extra insulin cool enough on warm days, which foods and types of carbs to avoid to give me sugar spikes and hypos.The sheer amount of calculations and constant vigilance is a lot to absorb.
But it feels like it will be worth it.
Part of going forward with a healthier life means being responsible. Responsibility for my health has been sorely lacking for the last decade and a half.
Doing what it takes to be healthy, active, in control, and living a happier life is worth it.
Since the new year began, I have cut most caffeine out of my daily life. I drink more tea than coffee now. It's improved my sleep patterns drastically, made me less grumpy and irritable, and I feel more rested.
My rested self can focus on tasks more easily. I am able to concentrate, I had the abstract understanding that sleep factored into everything but feeling the changes really drove home the knowledge.
Experiencing positive results firsthand gives me a boost to my confidence that I can do this.
It's bittersweet because I gave up on my dreams of being a park ranger due to my intense fear of failure. I won't dwell on the past but I WILL change my future.
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